Episode 20

Merci: What can you say about the little group of male executives at EcoModa and Freddy? They’re all a bunch of idiots!! Poor guys, they share but two neurons between the lot of them…

Beth: as i did with a number of the summaries, the original translation of this was done a bit at a time. however, instead of being sent out a day apart, this time there were several days between each of the parts, so i amused myself by providing small “Our story so far” mini-summations at the beginning of the second and third parts which have been omitted here since you’re getting the whole summary in one piece. the reason i mention them is because in these little catch-ups, i started referring to the Ecomoda males collectively as the Ecomoda Stooges or the Six Stooges -later shortened simply to the Stooges. it worked for me, and i began using the term in the summaries themselves. now, altho i have not had any complaints, should anyone not like the reference, please know that i am to blame for it and not Merci (she usually just called them “our boys”)…

We rejoin our heroes at the moment in which their new girlfriends are assaulting them with revolvers directed at their various heads… Armando is furious that the skinny one, Andrea, continues to want to “molest” him, but he realizes that she hasn’t taken out a pistol with the idea of “conquering” him (sexually) - it’s a robbery!! Kenneth, who, poor guy, is even more lost than the rest of them, asks what is going on and Calderón -the Supreme Leader of all these fools- explains that this is serious: “We are being robbed” [in English]. Freddy starts to whimper like a startled kitten [Merci: And on top of that i think he nearly peed himself from fright]. Armando tells him to be quiet a number of times because he’s getting on his nerves [Freddy on Armando’s nerves].

While his friends are being robbed downstairs, Nicolás still thinks that the “drought” of the past two years is about to come to an end… He is in his underwear but his little girlfriend still hasn’t taken off one stitch of clothing; Nicolás is starting to get a bit desperate… She turns on the light and takes out a revolver. She tells him she’s going to rob him and Nicolás tells her he’ll let her. Things finally get serious and she tells him to put up his hands. Another of the gang arrives and they take Nicolás’ wallet; he immediately begs them to leave him the photo of “the only woman I’ve ever loved in my life” [Blondie-Barbie]. They call him a stray mutt and take the photo as well as the money from his wallet…

Back downstairs, the men have all been ordered to take off all their clothing! Armando says they’ll willingly hand over their wallets and watches -whatever the women want- but not their clothing. Armando asks the women to be sensible!! [Merci: the truth is, you have to hand it to the Handsome Fool for being the least foolish of all], and asks them what their problem is. ‘We haven’t done anything to you…’ Freddy says he wants to “go pee-pee” [Merci: Didn’t i say so…?]… The women order the men up against the wall…

We return to Nicolás who is now tied up; he says that he prefers blondes… Before leaving him alone, his ‘girlfriend’ refers to him as a “bobo litro” [literally, a liter fool. in other words, a super-sized fool]. Nicolás starts to call to Gutiérrez and Calderón.

Downstairs again, the women robbers aren’t kidding around: they want all of the guys to do a strip-tease à la The Full Monty. They order the lights lowered and the music turned up because they want it to be with dancing and everything. Armando, still trying to salvage what little dignity is left him [Beth: and that’s precious little indeed!], states he’s not going to have any part of this. Freddy says he’d rather lose his dignity than his life. The women tell them to take their clothing off with style, dancing. Armando insists he’s not going to do any such thing and he confronts the “witch” Andrea [the one who bit him on the neck] and tells her to lower her gun. She tells him to start dancing or she’ll shoot him. Armando starts to dance!

You remember Gutiérrez? Well, he thinks they’ve got an orgy going and don’t want to include him [Beth: remember, his ‘girlfriend’ handcuffed him, presumably to the bed, and left him, saying she was going to get a friend…]. He shouts at Freddy [as if Freddy’s going to hear him over all the noise!] that tomorrow at work he [Gutiérrez] was going to put two “calls to attention” (reprimands or warnings) in his [Freddy’s] personnel file for not having included him [Gutiérrez] in the party. Downstairs, most continue to be reluctant to take off their clothing, while Freddy -no hero, he!- gets out of his clothing more quickly than Clark Kent turning himself into Superman. Armando states that there is no way he is going to take all his clothes off - he will at least keep his underwear on. The women start to sing his name and in the end he cannot put things off any longer. Andrea tells him that seeing him “in balls” [that’s a literal translation! of course, meaning, buck-naked] is indeed a deception. Armando replies that that next time he’ll pay a trainer and work his abs for three weeks prior to the robbery so that “your highness can be happy.” They start to take off the men’s watches and demand that Armando also hand over his wedding ring. He doesn’t want to [Merci: what would the priest who married them say?? Beth: never mind the priest - what would Betty say?? and, more to the point, since Armando’s so reluctant to be honest with her about the idiocies in which Mario constantly involves him now that he’s back in Armando’s life, how would he explain it all to Betty??] but Calderón reminds Armando it’s the ring or his life, and Armando doesn’t want to leave his daughter orphaned…

Finally, everyone, including Nicolás, ends up in the room where Gutiérrez is handcuffed. The women tie up the men, and then a cel phone rings. It’s Gutiérrez’s wife! Andrea answers the phone and tells her [Gutiérrez’s wife] that Saúl cannot speak to her just then because he is busy. Maruja hangs up in a fury and Andrea relays this to Gutiérrez. Before leaving, the women pinch each of the men on the butt… Armando tells Gutiérrez that as soon as he [Armando] gets himself free, he’s going to kill him [Gutiérrez].

Back at the apartment, Betty is very worried; then the phone rings. It’s Maruja [Gutiérrez’s wife], asking Betty if she’s heard from Armando. Betty replies no. Maruja is convinced the guys are all out on the town with some women but Betty tells her they aren’t. Betty tells Maruja she’ll try to track Armando down and will call her back.Armando states that Betty is going to kill him… The guys are all trying to free themselves and Kenneth is the first to achieve it. Armando tells Kenneth to free him next…

Doña Eugenia, Nicolás’ mother, calls Betty worried about her ‘baby.’ Betty tells her what she knows.

When all -except, of course, for Gutiérrez- are freed, the men try to leave the bedroom only to find the door has been locked from the outside and there is no way to get out. Armando tries to break the door down but only manages to hurt his arm. Kenneth suggests they make like “McGyver” and use the bed to break down the door. Freddy mocks the idea, but Armando and the rest immediately set to work taking apart the bed so they can break down the door and leave. Gutiérrez starts to shout at them to be careful with him [Beth: i didn’t see this ep and don’t remember Merci or Delta saying so, but i will state again that i’ll bet Gutiérrez is handcuffed to the bed… at least i hope so - serves him right.]

It’s 4:30am [Beth: remember, Armando promised Betty he’d be home by 1a on the dot…] and Maruja calls Betty again. Maruja really hopes that her husband is dead because if he isn’t she’s just going to have to kill him. Betty tells her to come over to the apartment so they can wait for their errant husbands together. Doña Eugenia also calls and Betty invites her over as well. Betty is going to call the hospitals and police stations… Then Aura María calls, worried because Freddy’s mother called her to say that Freddy hadn’t come home either. Betty tells Aura María that she, too, is very worried and of course invites Aura María to come over as well.

Our superheroes manage to break down the door and escape from the bedroom. Gutiérrez has to carry the bed’s headboard with him since he’s chained to it [Beth: hah! i was right!]. When they get downstairs they see that the place has been completely cleaned out - until then they’d hoped the women had at least left them a few shreds of clothing. But no, the only things there are Armando’s shoes and Freddy’s tie [Merci: i’ll tell you that Nicolás looks very elegant in his underpants and suspenders… Beth: i thought the women made them strip completely naked?]. The front door is also locked from the outside and cannot be opened, while the back door has been blocked [Beth: the word used implies it wasn’t locked but rather was nailed or otherwise sealed shut] and cannot be opened either. They’re doomed!

Betty, Doña Eugenia [Merci: who looks like Nicolás], Marujita [Merci: who is very elegant although her lipstick is badly applied, probably out of irritation related to her husband] and Aura María are in Betty’s dining room. Betty’s on the phone with someone who’s telling her they have to wait 24 hours before they can report Armando and the others as missing. Maruja continues to insist the men are all with Other Women and that she’s going to kill her husband. Poor Doña Eugenia doesn’t want to hear this talk of death and bad things. Aura María recalls that when Freddy said goodbye to her the day before, she told him to get lost, she hoped he’d die, and so now is blaming herself for something bad having happened to him! Betty calms her down and tells her not to think like that. Gabriela calls to see if Betty has heard from Armando, as Kenneth still hasn’t returned to the hotel. Betty begs her not to call the Fashion Group home office and invites her to join the gang at the apartment…

EcoModa’s “A-Team” manages to get out of the house through the back and find themselves on the sidewalk. The poor guys are all cold and they don’t know what to do now. Armando states they’re going to leave because they have to, while Gutiérrez continues to moan that they’re going to be killed…

Gabriela arrives at Betty’s apartment and says that something very serious must’ve happened to keep Kenneth from turning up - she’s known him for 8 years and he’s never done anything like this. They must’ve been attacked. Betty calls the police again and asks if they’ve checked all the hospitals, and the morgues… She’s happy to hear that no deaths have been reported. They realize that the only one who lives alone is Mario Calderón and, thinking the guys might be at his place, Aura María calls there, but no-one answers. Maruja states that he must have Caller ID and decided not to pick up. Betty describes Mario’s apartment as the “incarnation of Hell” [Merci: yeah, but she had a great time there once, didn’t she?]. They decide to go to Mario’s apartment to see if by any chance all the men are there…

The group of naked men startles a little old lady when they came out of the house, so they decide to go back into the house because they don’t want to be arrested. Then they decide that since there’s no phone in the house, they’re going to have to go to see if the woman [the one they startled] will let them use hers. Armando and Kenneth are elected to go and they leave again, swathed in sheets [Merci: the pair look like characters from a Shakespearean tragedy: Mark Antony and Julius Caesar…]. They go to the woman’s house and beg her to help them but she is already calling the police to report them… The two run away.

Freddy is sitting on the stairs with Calderón and he tells Mario that since this ‘tragedy’ has united them even more, he wants to ask for a pay raise. Calderón tells him he’ll have to wait to ask that question until the next time he (Mario) has his pants on. Armando and Kenneth come back and the group decides they have to leave. Freddy to the rescue! During the little party, one of the women had put a $10,000 peso note in his underwear so he’d have money for a taxi. Armando says they should walk normally, very normally, so as not to attract attention. Of course, with he and Kenneth in their “togas” and the rest as they are, it would be hard to say they look very “normal.” Armando then tells them to start jogging! This is because they have encountered a woman and two little girls and there is nothing for it but to try to keep up appearances [i.e., they are going to try to pass their underwear off as athletic shorts!]. They see a taxi arrive at the corner of the street and Armando takes off running to hail the taxi to take them home. The taxi driver takes one look and gets right out of there… [Beth: with a crazed Armando running toward him in a sheet/toga followed by a pack of guys in their underwear - i should think so!].

The group keeps walking. They see another taxi, whose driver Armando begs to help them, offering to pay him 20,000 pesos when he takes them where they want to go. The driver objects that there are a lot of them, but Nicolás says they’re all really good friends and it won’t be a problem. Of course, there is the problem of the headboard to which Gutiérrez is still handcuffed… The driver says that for 10,000 pesos more he’ll separate Gutiérrez from his “portable jail” [Beth: no! no!! make him keep it!!!]. This driver is evidently very well equipped because he rapidly gets out a hacksaw to cut the chains between the cuffs. He also has a good laugh at all of them when they relate how they came to be in their current situation, so Armando starts to put together the story they’re going to tell everyone to account for themselves when they finally get back to their various abodes. They all decide that they left the bar at 12:30am and were attacked by around ten men who stuffed them into a van, drove them all over Bogotá, and stole their clothing and money, etc. The taxi driver scoffs that no-one will believe them because they don’t have so much as a scratch between the six of them. Ever practical, Mario promptly punches Armando in the face. Armando returns the favor with an even stronger hit to his old friend’s face… Nicolás hits Gutiérrez while Freddy happily punches Kenneth -twice- though his two blows don’t hurt the American at all. Armando tells Freddy he doesn’t know how to hit, shows the messenger how to properly make a fist, and demonstrates with a tremendous punch right to Freddy’s nose. Freddy says they’ll just have to say that Kenneth was the least beaten of the group. Kenneth lands a terrific hit on Nicolás, and remarks that he had been a US Marine! At last, Gutiérrez is freed from the headboard and all except Freddy climb into the taxi. Poor Freddy ends up in the trunk - Mario describes it as the response of the group… [Beth: they should’ve put Mario in the trunk, for getting them into this situation. i mean, yes - it was Freddy’s fault they went out to celebrate “Men’s Night,” but it was Mario who let them into the thieves’ trap…] At Calderón’s apartment building, Betty asks the doorman for Mario and is told he never arrived…

Outside, the taxi with the Six Stooges arrives. They get out of the cab only to run right into Betty, Aura María, Maruja, Gabriela, and Doña Eugenia. Betty hugs and kisses Armando. Doña Eugenia is overjoyed to see Nicolás safe and sound. Aura María doesn’t see Freddy and thinks he’s dead until they open the trunk and Freddy emerges. Aura María is happy to see him but smacks him on the arm for having given her such a scare. They end up reconciling as Kenneth watches unhappily. Maruja says she’s going to kill Gutiérrez and they leave for their house in the cab. Gabriela takes Kenneth back to the hotel in their chauffeured Jeep Cherokee. Betty offers to take Nicolás, his mother, Freddy, and Aura María in her car [to drop them off]. Armando tells Betty they stole his wedding ring and that he feels just terrible about it (Of course, all have related their tragic tale of the supposed attack by the ten men who drove them all over Bogotá…).

Mario Calderón says good-bye to everyone and is left alone at his building holding a small cushion (?) and a stick-like piece of the bed they’d broken to break down the door. He puts the stick over his shoulder with the cushion hanging off the end, like a hobo, and walks into his apartment building…

Advances for next week: It looks as if everything’s going to explode because the police have become involved in the matter of the attack, so things get complicated for the boys… We’ll see what happens then.