WWE ALL STAR RAW REPORT: AUSTIN AS GENERAL MANAGER; BATTLE OF MANIA MAIN EVENTERS (NUMBER 1 VS 27); 14 DIVAS IN A MATCH THAT WAS ALMOST THAT LONG (IN SECONDS); CENA VS. PUNK IN THE MAIN EVENT

By Richard Trionfo on 2011-06-13 23:05:40

We are live from Uniondale, Long Island, New York and your announcers are Michael ‘I don’t want another Stunner mommy’ Cole and Jerry ‘Is that Mike Johnson in the crowd’ Lawler.

The Miz comes out and he is still holding his head high even though in the last six weeks he has lost his title and his human lapdog Alex Riley.

We see footage from last week when Alex Riley and Steve Austin got assists on a John Cena victory over Miz and R Truth that was later reversed.

Miz says that tonight is WWE All Star night. Monday Night Raw is the flagship show of the WWE. Last week, he won the main event so that means that he is the all time WWE All Star. Miz says that has been obvious for a long time. You would have to be an ignorant moron not to know that. That means that you would be Alex Riley. He calls Riley a fraud and he says that he will expose Riley more than a Tweet from Anthony Weiner.

Before he does that, he is going to teach Riley another lesson. Something to teach Riley how to be a superstar. Miz comments on the whating in the crowd and he says that he is going to teach Riley a lesson as he calls out Steve Austin. Miz wants to know why there is an icon from the Attitude Era looking over him trying to steal his spotlight and success. Miz tells Austin that he owes him an apology.

Miz is interrupted by broken glass and Austin makes his way to the ring.

Austin says that he was waiting backstage and he heard Miz says that he was going to call him out. Austin wants to know if that is the best that Miz has got. He talks about Miz’s stupid suit, tie, hair, and handkerchief. He then tells Miz to shut up before he responds. Austin tells Miz that the night after Wrestlemania, he let Miz run his mouth and talk his trash to see if Miz is as good as everyone says.

Austin says that he will give Miz some credit. He calls him a silver tongue devil. When it came to the fight, Miz turned his tail and ran to the back.

Austin cuts off Miz again. He tells Miz to keep his mouth shut while his is moving.

Austin tells Miz that he will respect him tonight. Austin says that he has an itchy trigger finger and he will give Miz a stunner if necessary. Austin says that Riley got in the ring with him and jumped his ass, but Riley got his ass whipped. He gives Riley credit for showing that he had guts. He can talk as well as give and take an ass whipping.

Austin tells Miz that Riley might be a bigger superstar than Miz some day.

Austin tells Miz to shut up and then wants to know if he should give Miz a stunner and the fans want it.

Austin wants to know what is going to happen on Sunday when Miz and Riley meet in the ring. Austin grabs Miz by the tie and he tells Miz that him and Riley need some counseling so he is going to put them with someone who is good at talking. They will be in the ring with Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Austin tells Miz that if he knows what is good for him, he will get out of the ring. Miz saunters behind Miz and Austin tells Miz that he better get to steppin’ because it ain’t Miz’s time to be a hero.

Austin says that he is making the law and the matches . . .

And then he is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio and he is finally ready to wrestle.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto.

Alberto introduces himself to Austin, but he already knows that. Alberto says that he wanted to make this official. The greatest superstar of his time, Stone Cold passing the torch to the greatest of all time, Alberto Del Rio. The rumors have been running all day. Alberto says that Austin wanted to see what true greatness was up close. Alberto says that it is his destiny . . .

To be cut off by Steve Austin. Austin says that he ain’t much of a fortune teller and he ain’t got no psychic abilities to look into the future, but he sees an ass whooping in his future. Ever since Alberto injured Big Show, Alberto thinks that he is big bad and tough. There is a sumbitch who has wanted to bash in Alberto’s skull, but he hasn’t had a chance. Alberto will be facing this man . . . and it is Big Show’s partner, Kane.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Big Show being attacked by Alberto Del Rio’s car three weeks ago.

Match Number One: Alberto Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez versus Kane

Kane with a knee and punch to Del Rio followed by an elbow and uppercut. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall. Kane tries for a slam but Del Rio escapes and kicks Kane followed by an arm breaker for a near fall. Del Rio continues to work on the arm and he kicks Kane in the arm and gets a near fall. Del Rio with a key lock but Kane forces Del Rio over the top rope to the floor.

Del Rio returns to the ring and he eats a punch and big boot. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner. Kane with a side slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top and Del Rio moves out of the way. Del Rio applies the cross arm breaker and Kane tries to get to the ropes and he finally gets there.

Del Rio refuses to release the hold so the referee disqualifies Del Rio for not adhering to the five count.

Winner: Kane by disqualification

Big Show’s music plays and Del Rio releases the hold. Show runs to the ring and he goes after Del Rio. Ricardo Rodriguez comes to Del Rio’s aid and Show pounds Rodriguez. Kane tries to stop Show while Del Rio continues to punch Ricardo. Kane finally pulls Show off of Rodriguez.

Steve Austin comes out and he tells Del Rio that he might as well make his way down to Washington D.C. because Del Rio will be facing the Big Show at Capitol Punishment. He says that being hit by a car won’t feel anything like feeling a punch from Big Show.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Big Show sprinting to the ring to go after Del Rio only to see Ricardo Rodriguez look like a Mike Tyson opponent. Rodriguez got stretchered out of the building during the commercial break.

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