WWE RAW REPORT: TRIPLE H IS HURT; ZACK RYDER IS ATTACKED; CM PUNK WANTS ALBERTO DEL RIO; AND CENA PICKS HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER FOR SURVIVOR SERIES . . . CAN YOU SMELL IT?
By Richard Trionfo on 2011-10-24 23:05:37
We are live from Austin, Texas and your announcers are Michael ‘The Sounds of Silence’ Cole and Jerry ‘Will Jim Ross be back Sooner or later’ Lawler.
We are back and it is time for Ricardo Rodriguez, sporting the wounds of being the ring announcer for the WWE Champion as he introduces Alberto Del Rio.
Del Rio says that everyone thought that John Cena would be the winner of the Last Man Standing Match, but Alberto proved them wrong. Cena was lying on the floor like a dying dog. Alberto says that he proved once and for all that he is the better man. Alberto says that he is done with John Cena so he is going to move on to new challengers.
The problem is that there is no one better than Alberto Del Rio in the WWE. He says that you better get used to seeing him as the WWE Champion for a long long long long time.
CM Punk interrupts Del Rio and he makes his way to the ring.
He apologizes for interrupting Alberto but he heard Alberto say that nobody could beat him. Punk calls Alberto a tough hombre because Punk points out that he has beaten Del Rio numerous times. Punk says that he beat him four weeks ago and it was in Gray’s Sports Almanac. Punk reminds Del Rio that he never got his one-on-one title shot after Del Rio cashed in his money in the bank contract.
Punk asks Alberto if he has the cajones to put the title on the line against him.
Del Rio says that he will defend his title against any worthy opponent but Punk is not worthy. Alberto reminds Punk that he did not even win at Vengeance, so that makes Punk a loser. Alberto says that losers do not deserve title shots. Alberto tells Punk to see him when he does something right. He tells him to come and see him when he wins a match.
Del Rio tells Punk that he is at the back of the line.
Punk thinks about it and he says that he had a feeling that Alberto would say that. He wants to subscribe to Del Rio’s newsletter. Punk says that maybe he doesn’t deserve a title shot and maybe he is at the back of the line. Punk says that maybe he is a loser. Punk says that maybe if Del Rio isn’t going to give him a title shot, he will put him to sleep anyway.
Johnny Buzzkill comes out and he says that he is in charge of this.
Punk gives John some advice on holding the mic so he could be heard.
John says that each man has made some good points. Maybe they will wrestle for the WWE Championship at Survivor Series.
Punk says that was what he wanted, but he wants to know what the catch is.
John tells Punk that there is one thing that he has to do to get the title match. Punk asks if he needs to regrip his skateboard.
John says that he is not playing the part of Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, he is really in that position. John tells Punk that he has to say that he respects John.
Punk wonders if John is Aretha Franklin. Punk says that John doesn’t respect him because he doesn’t wear a suit or toe the company line. Punk asks John if he has been watching the product because it is no better with John in charge.
John tells Punk that he is making a mistake. He wants Punk to say that he respects him.
Punk tells John that he respects him ‘Funkman’.
John did not like that so Punk better do it again.
Punk tells John that he respects him. He respects the fact that each week, he comes out in front of the millions of fans in the WWE Universe live on the USA Network with a deer in the headlights look on his face. He respects that John doesn’t know where to hold the microphone. He respects that John used to compete in the ring with his awesome mullet and despite not being very good, he is at the top of the WWE corporate structure showing new levels of brown nosery. He respects the fact that John has achieved so much with so little.
John says that doesn’t suit him and Punk is not suitable for a WWE title shot. John will take another week to think about it.
Punk tells John to think about something else and Punk kicks and punches Del Rio and gets Del Rio up for the Go To Sleep but Ricardo makes the save. Del Rio gets out of the ring and Punk gives Ricardo a Go To Sleep.