WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: A REAL AMERICAN; A US TITLE MATCH; A MEXICAN COMES TO THE AID OF GOOD OLE JR; A PROMO GOES TO CACA; AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2013-03-01 22:00:33

Previously on the show where we fight . . . after the first fifteen minutes of promos on most weeks . . . what will happen tonight after The Shield were upstaged by Sheamus and Randy Orton?

We are in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma and your announcers are Josh ‘At least there is one constant tonight’ Mathews, Michael ‘Is that Jordan Smith’ Cole, and Jerry ‘When did they start a Friday night show’ Lawler.

Before our first match, Damien Sandow has something to say. He says that others will say what they will, but Alberto fits right in with the rest of America, poor grammar, lackluster word choice, and sentence structure that is absolutely abhorrent. He demands silence.

Damien says that the World Champion is accompanied to the ring by a man in an outdated tuxedo and carries a spit bucket.

Damien is accompanied by his superior intellect, his timeless good looks, and the jealous gazes of the unwashed masses.

Damien tells Alberto that he is welcome.

Alberto says that if Damien wants to talk about unwashed. Alberto says that Damien needs to wash his mouth because it smells like caca.

Match Number One: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) versus Damien Sandow

They lock up and they go to a stalemate. They lock up again and Sandow with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Sandow asks if this is the World Champion. They lock up again and Del Rio with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Del Rio with another shoulder tackle and Sandow goes to the apron. Sandow demands that Del Rio be held back so he can re-enter the ring.

Sandow with a kick and side head lock take down. Del Rio with a rollup for a near fall. Del Rio backs Sandow into the corner but Sandow with a kick when Del Rio gives a clean break. Sandow with more kicks but Del Rio with a kick and punches to Sandow. Del Rio with a snap mare and kick to the ribs.

Del Rio with a slam and he goes to the turnbuckles for a moonsault and he hits it and gets a near fall. Sandow with a head butt and a knee to the head. Sandow with a suplex for a near fall. Sandow with a reverse chin lock. Del Rio with punches but Sandow sends Del Rio to the mat with help from the hair. Sandow with kicks and a knee drop for a near fall.

Sandow with a reverse chin lock into a side head lock. Sandow with a shoulder tackle but Del Rio with a drop toe hold and a La Magistral for a near fall. Sandow with a clothesline for a near fall. Sandow with a punch but Del Rio with an Irish whip. Del Rio runs into an elbow but Sandow comes off the turnbuckles and Del Rio with a kick to the midsection. Sandow is sent to the apron and Del Rio with an enzuigiri to send Sandow to the floor and we go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio with a slam and the Elbow of Disdain for a near fall. Sandow with knees to the midsection. Sandow goes to the back with a knee and then he returns to a chin lock. Del Rio punches Sandow and he connects with a head butt. Sandow with a kick but he misses a clothesline and Del Rio with a German suplex.

Sandow and Del Rio exchange punches but Sandow gets the advantage. Sandow with an Irish whip but he misses a charge into the corner. Del Rio with two clotheslines but Del Rio avoids a clothesline from Sandow and he hits a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Del Rio sets for the super kick and he hits it to a kneeling Sandow but Sandow kicks out at two.

We see Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter watching on a monitor.

Del Rio signals for the cross arm breaker but Sandow escapes and hits a fall out slam and gets a near fall. Sandow has a kick blocked and Del Rio puts Sandow in the ropes and Del Rio with forearms to the lower back followed by a lungblower for a near fall.

Del Rio sets for the running step up enzuigiri but Sandow meets Del Rio in the center of the ring with a knee and then he hits a running flip neck breaker and gets a near fall. Sandow with a front face lock and knees to the midsection. Sandow tries for Terminus but Del Rio counters into the float over and the cross arm breaker and Sandow taps out.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Jim Ross makes his way to the ring and we go to commercial.

We are back and Jim Ross says that it is great to be back in Oklahoma. He says that he is here for one reason. He wants to address one of the most controversial things he has seen in the WWE. He brings out Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter.

Jim reminds Jack that they go back a long way and even if they aren’t on the same page, he respects Jack’s athletic ability. Jim mentions that he recruited Jack while he was still at the University of Oklahoma.

Jack interrupts and asks Jim if he means that place with no heart thirty miles south of where they are. He says that he believes that Jim is a real American and that is why they granted this interview.

Zeb says that after Monday with the Miz they wanted to make sure that they could deal with someone who would treat them fairly.

Jim says that he has some questions for Jack and Zeb. Jim asks Jack about his World Title match at Wrestlemania, but first he reminds Jack about the sabbatical that he was taking back in September. He says that Jack is not the same Jack Swagger. Jim wants to know what happened.

Zeb says that he told Jack what the real problem was in this country and the reality and truth of what is happening every day.

Jim says that he was addressing Jack and he does not understand where Zeb is coming from.

Zeb says that Jim refuses to see. WWE is a microcosm of what is happening in this country. How is it possible that Jack could go on a losing streak to allow a foreigner to sneak in and take a position that belongs to an American.

Every day, thousands of undocumented workers are crossing our borders and they are taking jobs from real Americans. They will not stand idly by while this country self destructs. Jack adds a ‘We the People’.

Jim points out that Jack can be the World Champion if he can beat Alberto.

Zeb says that the title will be around the waist of a natural born American who can recite the Pledge of Allegiance, speaks English, and has worked for everything that he has gotten in this country. Alberto is not one of us and he does not share our values. He needs to leave this country.

Zeb asks Jim Ross what he does with a fruit basket that rots in his kitchen. Does he keep it or dump it. Zeb says that the stink that we are smelling is Alberto Del Rio. Zeb says that Jack is fighting for more than a championship, he is fighting for the heart and soul of this country.

Jim wants to know what happened to Jack and he says that Zeb has brainwashed him.

Zeb says that is a pretty big word. Since Jim knew Jack during his formative years, it was Jim who brainwashed him.

Jim suggests that Zeb exercise his right to remain silent.

Zeb suggests that Jim keep a civil tongue in his head lest something happen that he will regret later on.

Jim says that he doesn’t know or care what Zeb is saying.

Jack knocks JR’s hat off his head and he says that Zeb is a real American. Jack says that Jim is either a part of the problem or the solution. They are going to fix the problem. He says that JR is not a real American, he is a sympathizer.

Alberto Del Rio comes to the ring to help Jim Ross. Del Rio gives Jim Ross his hat.

Alberto tells them that they have it wrong. Jack and Zeb are the problem and he is the solution. He tells Jack that he is not a real American . . . Jack is a real Jack . . . ass.

http://www.pwinsider.com/article/75782/wwe-smackdown-report-a-real-american-a-us-title-match-a-mexican-comes-to-the-aid-of-good-ole-jr-a-promo-goes-to-caca-and-more.html?p=1

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