By Richard Trionfo on 2012-05-21 23:02:02

We are back and Ricardo Rodriguez is interrupted by Santino Marella, showing that the US Champion has no respect for the greatest ring announcer in WWE.

Santino apologizes for coming out but he has been listening to Ricardo for a long time and he cannot understand what Ricardo is saying. He says that Ricardo’s accent is ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as his eyebrows.

Ricardo and Santino go back and forth and Santino teases the Cobra and Ricardo falls back into the ropes. Santino hits Ricardo with the Cobra.

Santino introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Match Number Two: Alberto Del Rio versus Randy Orton in a We Didn’t Lose In the Four Way Last Night Match

They lock up and Orton with a side head lock but Del Rio backs Orton into the corner. Del Rio with kicks but Orton with a kick and he puts Del Rio in the corner and connects with punches. Orton with a slam and then he tries for the leaping knee drop but he misses. Del Rio with a round kick to the shoulder and then he tries for a single arm breaker but Orton pulls his arm out of the way.

Orton hits the knee drop and then he punches Del Rio. Orton climbs the turnbuckles and he punches Del Rio until Alberto rolls to the apron. Del Rio avoids the IEDDT and he sends Orton to the apron and hits an enzuigiri. Del Rio drops Orton on the top rope and we go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio with an arm bar. Orton with a head butt and punches but Del Rio with a kick and single arm breaker for a near fall. Del Rio with forearms to the back of the neck and a boot to the head. Del Rio gets a near fall.

Del Rio returns to the arm bar. Orton with punches but Del Rio with a kick to the shoulder. Del Rio goes for a running boot to Orton but Orton moves and Del Rio goes through the ropes to the floor. Del Rio returns to the ring and Orton with two clotheslines which means that Del Rio will miss one and Orton hits the power slam. Orton sets up for and hits the IEDDT.

Orton looks around and then he twists into the RKO push ups. From out of nowhere, Chris Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton and the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Jericho says that he is the best in the world at what he does. Jericho repeats himself. Jericho keeps repeating himself until Orton gets up and Jericho hits another Codebreaker. Jericho says that he is the best in the world again and leaves the ring only to return for a third Codebreaker.

Match Number Six: Sheamus and John Cena versus the ‘John Squad’ of Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, and Tensai with Vickie Guerrero and Sakamoto in a Handicap Lumberjack Match

The lumberjacks appear to be heels at this point.

Ziggler and Sheamus start things off and Sheamus with a hip lock take down. They lock up again and Sheamus with a side head lock take down. Sheamus with a shoulder tackle. Ziggler misses the Fameasser and Sheamus sends Ziggler into the air and gets a near fall.

Cena tags in and Ziggler tags in Swagger. Swagger with a waist lock and take down. Swagger floats over and slaps Cena in the head. Swagger does push ups and that is why you don’t do that crap in a match because Cena with a clothesline.

Tensai tags in and he connects with an elbow and shoulders in the corner. Swagger tags back in and he puts Cena in the corner and connects with shoulders. Swagger with a hard Irish whip and then Swagger misses the double jump Swagger bomb.

Sheamus makes the tag and he hits a few running double sledges. Sheamus with a shoulder and a running knee lift. Sheamus with a power slam for a near fall and Ziggler breaks up the cover. Sheamus sends Ziggler over the top rope to the floor.

Tensai tags in and they exchange punches and forearms. Tensai with a shoulder that sends Sheamus to the floor. Sheamus fights off the lumberjacks and then he hits a splash off the steps onto other lumberjacks.

Tensai with an elbow to Sheamus and an elbow drop before tagging in Swagger. Swagger with kicks to Sheamus and then Ziggler with a forearm across the chest. Tensai tags back in and he works on Sheamus’ neck.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Sheamus punches Swagger but misses the Brogue kick. Swagger applies the ankle lock and Tensai tags in. Sheamus with forearms to Tensai but Tensai with a hard Irish whip. Tensai with a splash into the corner and Sheamus goes down. Tensai sends Sheamus to the apron and then he kicks Sheamus to the floor.

The lumberjacks take their time to attack Sheamus and he fights off some of them before getting back into the ring. Tensai with head butts to Sheamus and then he chokes Sheamus. Swagger works on the leg while Sheamus is still on the apron.

Sheamus punches Swagger but Swagger with a drop toe hold and then he gator rolls Sheamus away from Cena. Ziggler tags in and he kicks. Sheamus tries for the Celtic Cross but Ziggler clips Sheamus and then hits the Fameasser for a near fall.

Swagger tags back in and he kicks Sheamus.

Big Show has made his way onto the stage while Swagger gets a near fall.

Swagger with an arm bar but Sheamus with head butts to get out of the hold. Swagger with a waist lock and he rolls Sheamus away from Cena. Swagger puts Sheamus in the ropes and Ziggler kicks him in the head while Swagger deals with the referees.

Tensai tags back in and he kicks Sheamus and connects with butt splashes in the corner. Sheamus with forearms but Tensai stops him. Tensai with a slam and leg drop for a near fall. Ziggler tags back in and he punches Sheamus.

Swagger tags back in and he punches Sheamus. Sheamus fights out of the corner for a moment and then he hits a fireman’s carry slam on Swagger. Cena makes the tag and he hits the two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb. Time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but the lumberjacks go after Sheamus so Cena goes to the floor.

There is pandemonium in the ring and the lumberjacks have entered the ring with the five people in the match.

We have replacement lumberjacks and they run to the ring (while Khali walks). It is time to get ready for the Royal Rumble. . . that is eight months away.

John Cena goes up the ramp for Big Show.

CM Punk goes after his Season One rookie, Darren Young and then we go to the back where John Cena wants to know where Big Show is.

John Cena ponders something and then he turns into a Big Show punch.


411’s Instant Analysis 05.21.12: WWE Monday Night Raw

Posted by Dimitri Dorlis on 05.21.2012

SEGMENT THREE: Santino beats up Ricardo

What….what was with that Santino opening? Although I will admit to laughing pretty hard at Ricardo trying to get out of his tuxedo. We then get a promo video for the 1000th episode and the move to 3 hours. So, was the only point of this segment to pimp out the WWE Youtube channel and the move to 3 hours? Whatever. This gets a separate segment only because I didn’t want to take away fro the Orton/Del Rio rating.

Rating: 2.0 out of 10

SEGMENT FOUR: Alberto Del Rio vs Randy Orton
Match Result: Randy Orton wins via DQ, I guess
Match Length: 8 minutes or so

This was your typical TV match between two main eventers – get in the small moves, fake at doing bigger moves, that sort of thing. The match ended due to Jeriference, which sets up a feud between the two. Jericho going crazy and yelling about being the Best in the World (tm) was oddly entertaining, as was him giving Orton 3 Codebreakers. Match was fine, postmatch shenanigans were even better.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10


411’s WWE RAW Report 5.21.12

Posted by Tony Acero on 05.21.2012

We’re back with Ricardo Rodriguez in the ring, presumably waiting to announce Del Rio. Santino’s music hits, instead, though, and he comes out with the Cobra on hand. He says that he doesn’t understand Rodriguez, and he doesn’t think anyone does. He says that he doesn’t roll his r’s and calls his eyebrows catepillars. Ricardo tries, and Santino says it sucks, then rolls some R’s of his own. Ricardo and he roll em back and forth, sounding like a squealing Chewbacca. He pulls up the Cobra and Ricardo backs off. Ricardo tries to remove his jacket, but gets stuck and Santino claims he has no choice, but to hit the Cobra. He wants to now show how it’s done. He requests Del Rio’s music and announces him as weighing in at 108 give a craps, coming from some place in Mexico.

Before any match happens, we get a promo for RAW’s 1,000th episode. More dubstep! They announce the show at being 3 hours each and every Monday…

Del Rio doesn’t look too happy at Santino announcing him.

After a break, we come back to Cole and King trying to cover up the dumb mistake of Ace saying he resigned Show on Saturday, thus meaning he was a WWE Superstar and interrupting the match on Sunday would mean he’d be fired….geez, man.

Match 2: Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
Lockup to start. Side headlock from Orton. Del Rio leads him into the corner. Orton is able to hit some kicks then a body slam. He drops a knee, but Del Rio is out of the way. Del Rio with a kick to the arm of Orton, then attacks the arm. His next move is deflected and Orton stomps the arm. Orton gets him in the corner and mounts for ten punches. He gets to four before Del Rio slips out onto the apron. Bad move, as Orton sets him up for the DDT. Del Rio flips him over rthe ropes though, and Orton lands on the apron. Del Rio kicks the leg then hangs up Orton as we go to break.

Back to the show and Del Rio has Orton’s left arm in a hold. Orton with a headbutt or two but Del Rio uses his knees acorss the arm of Orton. He drops one more knee on his head then pins for 1….22…NO! An armbar from Del Rio, but Orton gets out. Del Rio fights back with a kick to the arm. Del Rio hits the ropes then flies across the ring. Orton ducks out of the way, sending Orton to the outside. Orton hits a clotheslines, one more. Powerslam from Orton. Orton sends Del Rio to the ropes and hits the rope-assisted DDT. He’s looking for the RKO. Here’s Jericho! Codebreaker to Randy Orton!
Winner: Randy Orton via DQ (**)

Jericho grabs the mic. He is the best in the world at what he does. He repeats this, louder. One more time! The best at EVERYTHING he does! Orton stands, so Jericho hits another Codebreaker, a bit more sloppily. Jericho looks to leave the ring then reconsiders. He lifts Orton by head head, nose to nose with Orton, then hits one more, better looking Codebreaker.